Caregivers and Lupus Warrior Allies: Helping Advocate

Don’t forget to take care of yourself Taking care of someone who needs help is both a noble and necessary thing, but you are also taking on a lot of the other person’s stress. Stress, untreated, can lead to illness. If you don’t find a way to create time for yourself, it can hurt you – and the person you care for. Many caretakers, in prioritizing the care of their warrior, neglect themselves. There can be a lot of pressure to do this, and giving in to it can feel like the right thing to do. However, by not taking care of yourself, you run the risk of making yourself sick. This is a well-known condition called “caretaker burden.” Though acting as a caretaker is less of a burden and more of an act of friendship and love, it can still stress the caretaker’s body out. If you are a caretaker, you are at high risk for depression and insomnia, and the stress can trigger or exacerbate your own chronic diseases. If keeping your health isn’t enough to motivate you, then think of it this way: if you’re sick, will you be able to provide the level of support that you want? You are more likely to miss something important or make mistakes in care. Or, you may simply be unable to help, directly or as an advocate. So take breaks. Eat, sleep, drink, shower, take physical and mental health breaks and otherwise keep an eye on your own well-being. Go out, make friends, find support groups. Caretaking and sickness alike can be isolating and support groups are scientifically proven to reduce depression and improve psychological well-being in caretakers. There is also no shame in finding or hiring help to take some of the work off of you. This can be especially helpful if there is a task or series of tasks that are particularly difficult to manage. People can sometimes bring you down and accuse you of not caring. But stand up for yourself. The goal of caregiving is to help someone else, not harm yourself.

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